I moved from the valley to Hayward about a month ago. I currently have about -$64.50 in the bank. Yes, that is indeed a negative amount of money. Apparently Wendy’s processes all of their card transactions on the 5th of the month, not at the end of the day or the week or the month. I should have been more careful. It’s ok though, I get my first paycheck from my new job tommorrow.
Depression lays its claim upon me, so it’s business as usual. If anything about me has changed due to the move it would have to be my utter lack of enthusiasm. It is now even more utter than it’s ever been, if such a thing is at all possible. This does not correlate to any lack of purpose or drive in my life. In fact, it has contributed a most impressive amount of energy to my waking hours.
I understand if this is confusing, but allow me to provide you with an illustration.
Many claim the title of “Christian”. A lot of these people put stupid bumper stickers on their cars, wear stupid t-shirts, listen to stupid music (or at least really bad arrangements of what was once a good song) and vote for stupid people to hold public office. A few others actually take Jesus seriously and do what he tells them to do. If you’d like examples of the second group, I’d volunteer people like Rich Mullins or Albert Schweitzer. As for the first group, regardless of my personal opinions, it would be wrong for me to call anyone in particular stupid.
That first group is certainly enthusiastic, but if you really beleive that Jesus was God incarnate then where do you get off merchandising Him? It seems just a bit irreverent. People in the second group may or may not have been enthusiastic, but they certainly had conviction.
My point being, the things I formerly thought worth fighting for are now things I am convinced are worth living for. If you’re convinced that your life is worth living, then, regarless of how irrational and unpleasant life may be, you’ll be content at the end of the day, and you’ll certainly get a better night’s sleep.
